Weekend Update…

A full week of trial.

What did we accomplish?

Lots of lawyers arguing and – after a day and a half – we finished choosing the jury (there’s a week’s worth of blog material there but no time now).  That’s it.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch….

Jessica took over mommy duties.  Despite her best intentions, autism mommyhood for someone as young as Jessica, is not as easy as we had both hoped.  I think what that says is that my child misses his mom.  And he is engaged in that escalating type behavior with everyone around him to try and get her back.  It’s not pretty.

My kid?  Oh, he’s good.  He’s up for an Academy Award.  Can Hollywood hear me?

This week he has made it clear that he does not want me to be gone.  He spent one day faking that he had a bladder infection.  He kept holding himself, screaming, crying, pouting and refusing to pee. Had I actually known about it?  I might have bailed on the trial.  I’m just that much of a worrier.  However, I didn’t learn about it til I returned at the end of that day.

He had worried both his ABA senior tutor and Jessica.

This about sums it up.

My left eye has been intermittently twitching from stress.  (It’s a great look for me).

So the day he was faking illness – he rode home with me from the office.  On the way, he was fine.  He ate Burger King, drank water came home and peed like crazy.  That night?  Dancing, yapping up a storm.  Jumping on the bed.  Eating cookies and playing video games.

My advice to Jessica?  I gave her the weapons, a new toy on its way in the mail -and permission to use the two Bs.  Bribery and blackmail.  Look, the two Bs are great in response to Oscarworthy manipulation and fingers-to-chalkboard pitched screaming!

A couple days later?  Me and the hubs left Jessica with authority to take Tootles to an arcade in the late afternoon if he could behave all day.  Before that new carrot? She explained that her Tootles spent some time talking her into playing a little Pac-Man with him.  They sat down, started playing and just as she was settling into a sense of calm, he pulled the plug to the Pac-Man game, turned around and less than an inch from her face, let loose with a scream that rearranged her genetic structure.


Monday we go to Opening Statements and our first witnesses.

I’ve already bought Jessica a new pair of shoes.  Call it what you will.  Bribery.  Hush money.  Combat pay.

Court is dark after Monday for the rest of next week.  Judge business.

If I can make it through Monday, I can come up for a little bit of air… and prepare for the weeks following.  It’s going to be the longest 30 days of my life.

If Jessica gets over her shell-shock, she will be here.  Most of her time has been spent trying to calm my little beast.

At this point,  as long as she still has all her limbs and can see and hear, I’m okay with that.

I miss you guys.  I will try to visit when I can – next week!


About solodialogue

I'm a lawyer and the mom of a 6 year old boy with autism. I work part time and spend the rest driving here and there and everywhere for my son's various therapies. Instead of trying cases, I now play Pac-man and watch SpongeBob. I wear old sweaters and jeans and always, always flat shoes to run after my son. Yeah, it's different but I wouldn't change it for anything. The love of my child is the most powerful, beautiful and rewarding aspect of my life.
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16 Responses to Weekend Update…

  1. autismangel says:

    Karen, I know its gotta be hard doing what you are doing and you have to be emotionally torn. But I admire your strength. God bless Jessica and do what you have to to get thru the 30 days. 🙂 You are a warrior mama! 🙂 xoxoxo

  2. Jen says:

    HA, I love that you are OK with bribery…makes me feel WAY better. I hope Jessica is enjoying her new shoes, too!

  3. I’ll come watch him for some new shoes 😉 I have a hard time leaving mine and he actually doesn’t even seem to notice when I leave…I couldn’t imagine how I’d be if he cried or told me he didn’t want to go!! I admire your strength!! Go get ’em in court! 🙂

  4. Grace says:

    Ah, jeez. My former sister-in-law, who I still refer to as my Big Sis, has always told me “This, too, shall pass.” And when I’ve been in the middle of my crap, I’ve wanted to strangle her when she said that. But she’s never been wrong. So. This, too, shall pass. You can strangle me if you want.

    I’m just curious. . .those shoes you bought Jessica. . .they were Manolo Blahniks, right?

  5. eof737 says:

    We are thinking of you and sending hugs and best wishes for success. Upwards and Onwards. 🙂

  6. Yikes! I love the “scream that rearranged her genetic structure” quote — that says so much.

    I’ve missed you these past couple weeks, Karen. I know you’re doing a very important job and making the world a better place for everyone… but hey.. I can be a little selfish, right?

    If there is anything I can do from thousands of miles away, let me know, ok? In the mean time, I’m sending along whatever extra strength I have to you and Jessica!

  7. Kelly says:

    Hey – so missing you! I am thinking about you, your family (Jessica is family, in my mind) and the woman you are representing. Kudos to Jessica for hanging in there – what an absolutely awesome resource and friend for you to have. Big hugs and well wishes being sent your way.

    Keep us posted when you can, but we all understand how busy you are. xoxoxo

  8. Amanda says:

    It’s tough right now but I can only see good coming out of it, if you stick to your guns. Hang in there.

  9. Lizbeth says:

    Oh Lord, I think you’re going to be doling out a lot more shoes. 😉
    The good thing is Tootles is expressing how he feels, maybe in a most uncomfortable manner for Jessica, but he’s doing it. Tell her to hang in there. It WILL get better and calm down for him. Don’t forget he’s going to be pretty pissed when you get back…
    Use whatever you have to right now–bribery, Burger KIng, whatever. If it works do it. Now’s no the time to be picky. THe main goal is to get Tootles more comfortable and if a Happy Meal (or whatever) every day seems to do it, then by all means it won’t kill him for a month.

    Good luck to you all and hang in there!! I’ve been thinking of you.

  10. Kara says:

    I’m sending you and Tootles (Jessica too) every good vibe in my repertoire. I hope everyone’s genetic structure hangs in there! Thinking of you.

  11. Tessa says:

    Poor Jessica! Do you need us to put together some care packages for her?

  12. Flannery says:

    We would not have mastered any milestone if we had not employed bribery. You gotta do what you gotta do.

    Poor Jessica…and poor Tootles…he misses his mama!! It’s good though, he needs to maybe get used to not having you there every minute, right?

    It will get better. Or Jessica will have a stylish new wardrobe. Sending you lots of good thoughts!

  13. LOL @ it’ll get better, or Jessica will have a stylish wardrobe. Poor little guy, some things are hard to get used to. Hopefully it’ll get better soon and in the meantime it’s great he’s got such a solid team behind him!! I loved reading about all the lawyer-y stuff!! You go!

  14. Teresa says:

    I came across your blog and it gave evidence that you are as remarkable as I suspected. Give them hell AND take care of yourself.
    Teresa WW Rose

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