Friday was the last day of school before Thanksgiving. At the beginning of that last week (or maybe a little before), my son’s teacher sent an email requesting some help putting together a “classroom Thanksgiving celebration” thing. As I am devoted to helping out at school any chance I can get, I sent a responsive email telling her I’d do whatever she would assign that the other parents did not choose to do.
I was assigned to be one of “six moms/dads with lots of patience” to help out in the classroom. I loved it! And feeling extra “nice”, I volunteered to bring cut up apples since no one took that job, as well.
Truthfully? I was feeling pretty special. Look at me – I’m helping. I’m such a nice mom… You know that feeling, a smidgeon- smug, proud, “nice”. You know the type, right?
So, Wednesday rolls around and I do my regular volunteering in the classroom. When I show up though, it seems that some other mother has brought in a tray of cookies that looked a lot like these:
Now, as delighted as I was to oogle and think about eating those cookies, I did not because of this. Also, the purity of my reaction was “Gee, how nice was that?” and “That’s so sweet that some mom did that for the class!” But, by the time I left class on Wednesday, a few doubts about the height of my halo started to creep up. I wondered if I should be doing something more for Tootles’ class? The thought was fleeting and it quickly passed.
Thursday morning rolled around. Every morning when we get to school, the tutor and I walk Toots onto the very crowded playground where he lines up to go in to class.
As I stood there, I noticed his teacher’s hands were full. She was holding these:
Now, I knew these were homemake by some other mom. Look at them! They are adorable! Now, I’m no pastry chef. I’m not even a poor reproduction of a baker. So when I saw these, my jaw dropped and I felt that ugly little thing called — shhh! — jealousy. C’mon! Look at the cuteness:
They were all individually wrapped in that cellophane. Look at their faces! How does one do that?! Don’t tell me. It won’t help. I asked the teacher where she got those. “They’re from J’s mom!” she replied.
And the gauntlet was thrown.
Now, you all realize I’m Asian. I may have mentioned this. J’s mom is the other Asian mom in Toots’ class. J’s mom is sweet and kind. J is sweet and kind. J’s mom is one of the few moms that I always talk to because she’s so nice …
The “seasonal appropriateness” of the candy corn?! The adorable little pretzel legs? These were too much for me. Clearly, I’d been one-upped. My cut-up apple contribution? Ptooey! Not nearly as interesting as those turkeys!
As I headed out of the parking lot, I saw her. J’s mom. She was walking with her other adorable child to their car. She waved and smiled. I rolled the window down and told her how awesome her turkey pops were. “Oh, they weren’t that great. That was my first try!” she replied with a smile. Just stab me now, people. Her first try?!
At that moment, I became determined to show up on Friday with the most awesome treat ever. Now, mind you, it’s Thursday and I’m no baker… I headed to Whole Foods, where they have glamourous cases of delights. I was certain I would find the perfect “something” to trump those pops.
Sure enough, I found the perfect dessert at Whole Foods. Something similar to this:
I needed 36 of these. They were $4.50 each. Similar items were a little cheaper – 2 for $5… So, dejectedly, I said goodbye to Whole Foods and headed off to my old friend, WalMart. Oh, WalMart, you never let me down!
After a little discussion between me and the WalMart baker, they whipped up these for me:
So, done! I was patting myself on the back, picked up Toots from school and found out this happened:
The pops made the school’s Facebook page! Could I feel any more Asian shame?! Why, thanks for asking because Toots brought this home with him:
Examining it further, me and my cohorts (who shall remain nameless- sort of) noted that the turkeys all had four pretzel legs – ahem-…
Now, I’m not one to criticize… Usually. And someone had to eat the thing – to give a fair review -otherwise it would go to waste, right? So, we – you know- prepared it for consumption…
We I did want to test the “taste” quality of the turkey pop against the cupcake. So, I found me an “unbiased” guinea pig. Jessica agreed to taste test them.
They were a little dry. But, of course, she didn’t just trash it after one bite. She ate the whole thing! Traitor! Just kidding, sort of…
At the Thanksgiving “feast”, Tootles took the appropriate cupcake, with a little prompting from his mama…
All the other kids picked the
WalMart “my” cupcakes too! Of course, the little details that I should add are that “J”, who took my cupcake, walked right to the garbage can next to me, at one point, having taken one bite and threw it in the trash, saying, “Yuck!” The loyalty!
And Toots? He put four slices of cut apples (yes- I brought those too) on his plate and one of mommy’s cupcakes. What did he eat?
Yes. My kid ate the apples. Sigh. Did he eat the cupcake too?
On the other hand? He didn’t eat the turkey pop, either. Moral of the story? Don’t bite off more turkey than you can chew?